Rant alert! I have to get this off my chest!

I know this contradicts a fair bit of my previous posts, but I feel like less of a woman when I encounter certain ladies in my small community – one in particular.

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Related: Thou Shall Not Covet Thy Friends Figure

“Jealousy is the fear of comparison.”

– Max Frisch

Not only does she look fantastic, but she is fantastic.

Believe me I know that I shouldn’t be comparing myself to others, but this specimen takes the cake!

• She has a beautifully tanned skin tone (not the spray on kind) and natural light blond hair (which always looks flawless).
• Her physique is slammin’ – and I don’t use that term lightly. Perfectly sculpted legs and arms, a firm bottom, and a toned mid-section.
• This woman is well-known in our little town (because she grew up in the area) so everyone knows her. Therefore her social calendar is (likely) booming – friends as far as the eye can see!
• She is naturally athletic. She plays sports year-round – hockey, baseball, soccer – you name it! She even bikes with her kids into town from their home on the next side road (like, 5k away)!
• To top it off – she’s really nice! And that irritates the shit out of me!

Though I know this is wrong, but I kinda hate this woman – which is terrible of me to even think.

Whew! Deep breath. (I am actively taking deep breaths while writing this!)

This is the same feeling I had back in high school when the popular girls would walk by with their perfect hair, perfect bodies, perfect boyfriends – perfect everything – and I’d feel like a pile of steaming dog shit because I didn’t have any of that.

Sadly I am judging this person and I don’t even know her!

BUT how do I know what her life is really like? She may have struggles of her own. Her marriage may be on the rocks, her kids my be a handful, her parents may have health issues, her family may be struggling financially – who knows what skeletons are in her closet?

For me, self esteem has always been a challenge (obviously, right!?), but I’m working on that and trying to improve myself.

Related: July 2019 Goals – Self Care

There, I feel better now! … for letting that out. Not for admitting that I feel so much disdain for another person and how petty it truly is!

Lord, please forgive me.