In the early days (and months) of motherhood we enter into our new rolls expecting to be sleep deprived. Along the way we adapt and become accustomed to surviving on a lack of sound slumber even after the wee ones have developed a routine sleep schedule themselves. Yet we often hear ourselves admit “mama needs her sleep” or at least a bit of a break.

Nod if your sleep patterns have changed since having kids but your husbands have remained constant from pretty much day one of becoming a parent. Obviously moms require just as much sleep as dads and yet mothers are so much more exhausted than their parenting partner.

But how much sleep do moms really need?

Many moms approach the day-to-day with a superhero, “haul ass” mentality. And while there’s no arguing moms are superheroes; Wonder Woman needs some sleep too. Some experts suggest that moms need just as much sleep as the average adult—7 to 9 hours per night. For some, this amount of sleep is perfectly acceptable – others need more or less. Try and get the optimal amount of sleep for you. Yeah, right! Easier said than done, sweetie!

What is stopping mom from getting a good night’s sleep?

Have you ever heard of Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?

“Revenge bedtime procrastination” describes the decision to sacrifice sleep for leisure time that is driven by a daily schedule lacking in free time. – sleepfoundation.org

Many mothers (this mama included) – and fathers – are guilty of this very thing. Whether you’re a working parent or stay at home, we have all stayed up well past our bedtime trying to have even an hour of alone time after the rest of the family has gone to bed. For some, this precious time is the only peace they have in their day.

So how can we avoid this behavior and get some much needed sleep?

• Trade off responsibilities with your spouse. Simply spell off one another so one parent (typically mom) isn’t always exhausted. Plus, asking for help from your spouse is healthy for the parenting dynamic by experiencing how the other half lives!
• Nap when your schedule allows. If your child is still young and takes frequent naps, enjoy a nap yourself. If your kids are older and you’re still sleep deprived, take advantage of a friend or neighbour’s generous offer of taking the kids for a playdate so you can get a little rest.
• Reduce screen time. We all know that screens keeps up awake! Though we all love to mindlessly scroll through TikTok at 11:30 at night.
• Communicate how exhausted you are. If you are overwhelmed with parenting (the kids, the appointments, work stress, making plans, etc) then you need to voice this to someone. Odds are you’re going to lose your shit in a really bad way.

Related Post: Mom Hacks for the Win

Why is mom always so tired?

There’s something called “mommy fatigue” or “tired mom syndrome”. Which is a form of exhaustion that occurs as a result of feeling both physically and emotionally overwhelmed by parenting. An exhausted mom often experiences fears related to not being good enough, relinquishing control, and losing her sense of self.

Otherwise known as burnout. As a parent, we’ve all experienced this at least once since becoming a welcoming our kids. Burnout is no picnic and isn’t particular about who it attacks. Whether you’re a hard-driven career mom or an involved SAHM – the feeling of burnout can have serious and long-term effects.

How to avoid burnout and find relief?

• Let people help you. Again, there is absolutely no shame in asking for a helping hand when you’re feeling overloaded.
• Speak up. Wonder Woman is great and all but she’s not sustainable. Voice your frustrations and what you need from your partner.
• Develop & stick to a routine. Find what works best for your own family and situation and try to follow this routine moving forward.
• Give yourself a little grace. Lower the expectations you have set for yourself and learn to let go a little bit. What doesn’t get done today can always be taken care of tomorrow instead.
• Take a mommy time-out regularly. Set aside some time for you. Get out of the house once or twice a week – even if it’s just for an hour.
• Learn to say no. Setting healthy boundaries is important to a busy and exhausted parent.

Honey, Mama needs her sleep.

How are you planning to get some much needed rest when you’re feeling overwhelmed, mama? Drop your helpful hints in the comments and share your own #honestmotherhood tidbits with the group. We all need a little support now and then.