People are so quick to give their advice and magical words of wisdom to new mothers. But their expert guidance is simply their own personal opinions which is often found to be outdated and old fashioned. Now those mamas who have recently endured the stages of child rearing that you may be currently experiencing – that’s some input I want to hear and maybe even use myself down the road. So, moms with older kids, what is your advice for those with younger kids? Let’s go!

Try to control your reactions

If you want your kid to always tell the truth and be open to share their lives with you – you have to learn to be responsive instead of reactive. But be mindful of how your teenager’s behaviors may trigger your own perceptions. Make sure your kids feel comfortable coming to you about anything and everything.

The last thing you want is for your child to keep things from you thinking “my mom is going to k!ll me when she finds out what I did”! Keeping feelings and worries bottled up is not healthy for a anyone – let alone an impressionable teenager. Mistakes are meant to be learned from and help us grow.

Set your kids up for financial success

Looking back on your own childhood, I’d imagine there’s one glaringly similar realization – I wish I was taught more about money management! Kids these days are so blind to the realities of finances and how to properly save, spend, and invest. Here are a few key financial points to start teaching your kids early:

• Start an education fund for your child as soon as possible. Some parents start setting aside funds before their kids are even born. Check with your financial institution for advice on what type of account to open and if any government programs are available to you.
• Kids need to know how to budget. Older kids understand that money doesn’t grow on trees. Younger children, not so much. Set them straight early.
• Let them earn an allowance. Coaching kids about chores and how to be helpful around the house is an important life lesson. Kids love to have their own money that they earned honestly! Try the MyDoh app.
• Open a savings and checking account for your child. Not every cent they earn or receive needs to be saved for a rainy day. Let them indulge a little while also learning how to set aside money for later.
• Educate your child on how a credit card works – please! So many young adults are so blind to the fact that credit cards are not free money. Plus they need to understand how payments and interest on credit cards work as well.

Related Post: Teaching your kids the value of money

Keep in touch with your mom friends

They say that it takes a village to raise a child. Now add some wine and weekly vent sessions with your fellow mamas and you’ve got it made. Having a few friends with children about the same age is golden when going through developmental phases of raising kids. Mom friends are great for bouncing ideas around with, comparing notes about what’s going on with your own child, or just lending a sympathetic ear every once in a while. Stay connected or reconnect with your mom friends – they can be a lifesaver.

Remember you’re more than a mom

Don’t let motherhood overtake your life – or your husband’s. You’re more than just parents. You need to have a relationship with each other and make time for one another. Be mindful about scheduling social events and indulging in your own interests either together or individually. If your child enjoys the same activities, be sure to occasionally include them as well. But please look out for number one as one cannot fill from an empty cup.

Don’t pay attention to all the parenting advice

With the exception of this post, of course! People are so quick to pass judgement on how a parent is parenting, but don’t have all the facts on a family’s specific situation. When you first have a baby, it’s drilled into new mothers that breast is best, but formula feeds an infant just as well. Or how some mothers stay home with their kids instead of sending them to daycare when they return to work. Always do what’s best for you and your child and don’t bend for anyone else.

Eat dinner together

Even if it’s only once or twice a week. Because we all know that when kids get older they don’t even want to be in the same room as their parents. Cringe! Enjoying dinner together is a great way to connect at the end of the day and get off your devices (mom and dad too) for at least a little while. Make a plan as well for family time in general. Go for a walk after dinner and chat along the way, watch a movie on Friday night and stay up a while longer together, or even cook a meal together. We all love family kitchen time!

Flex and bend the rules sometimes

Staying firm with the rules but being flexible and willing to negotiate at times is important as kids get older and more mature. Giving bigger kids a little more of a leash is good for you and them. This allows kids to learn to take more responsibility for their own actions. When they betray your trust, reign it in and give them back the privilege they lost a little at a time.

Have the hard or embarrassing conversations early

Or at least touch base on the tough subjects depending on your child. Honestly, odds are your kid and their friends are already talking about the stuff you, as parents, don’t want to talk about with your precious baby. Some of these subjects may include:

• Online safety. Knowing proper online safety is so important – for kids and adults. Explain the dangers of online predators and sharing personal information online. The internet is forever.
• Bullying. Whether face to face or online – bullying is not acceptable. Period. If you wouldn’t say something to a person’s face then it shouldn’t be shared on social media either.
• Never ever share a nude. Enough said.
• Dating and sex. Don’t be so quick to start dating someone. Just be a kid! But eventually our kids are going to do the nasty. They need to know that there is nothing wrong or dirty about sex. But they need to be responsible. Talk to your kids about sex and what precautions they need to take before taking the plunge.
• Puberty. Kids are going through puberty so early, I swear! They need to understand what’s happening to them, as well as their gender counterparts. There are some awesome books available on the subject.

Take a chill pill mom and let them make mistakes

As a self proclaimed helicopter mom, it can be hard to let go. You can’t hover over them their whole lives and they’ll never learn otherwise. Doing everything for your kids doesn’t teach them anything and they become so reliant on others. Though they may not fold their laundry the way you do, at least they’re doing it themselves. They may not fly by themselves right away – but give them their wings so they can try.

Let them be their own person

Whether it’s only wearing athleisure style outfits, colouring their hair purple, or feeling totally organized in their pigsty of a bedroom – let them be themselves. Don’t pressure your kids into sports just because you like hockey and don’t force a child to apply to a specific college or university in order to live out your own fantasy. Encourage them to follow their own dreams – not yours. But do inspire them to do something to broaden their horizons a little, like joining the junior band in school. Let them vent and feel all the feels they’re experiencing in their young lives.

So, moms with older kids, what is your advice for those with younger kids?

Final thoughts. One day at a time, mama. One day at a time. You can only do your best and no one can expect any more from you. Each and every stage of a child’s development is a learning experience – for both the child and parent involved. Give yourself some grace. You’re doing great!