Everyone has a vision for their future selves!  I always knew I wanted to have children someday, but it’s really incredible how much your outlook changes when you reach the time to actually have kids! We are an only child family.

We are an only child family.

During my teenage years, I wanted three kids, just like my own family.  Two boys and a girl – in that order.  I loved growing up with two older brothers – protection and two incredible teachers.  But I really got special treatment being the youngest and the only girl!  That was the dynamic I wanted to my future family …

 … But that’s far from what actually became reality!

Into my twenties, when I first started dating my now husband, I envisioned two rugrats – a boy and a girl (twins actually, since they run in my family).  But when you are dating and shortly after living with someone, you find out what they wish for the future …

… And my hubby never really wanted kids AT ALL!!

That, I wasn’t thrilled about and would have been a deal breaker for me if I wasn’t able to change his mind.

We were together for a while before even getting engaged and it was then that we delved deeper into what we each wanted in life.  It was at this stage in our relationship that my soon to be spouse knew how important it was for me to have children – so he was game!

After we were married, we seriously discussed trying for a baby.  We had spent a few years, just the two of us, living as a couple and doing the things we loved.  We both had good jobs, a house, and were financially comfortable to handle the expense of a child.  Everyone around us were having babies and this was tugging at my uterus, so we took the plunge!  I’m went off the pill and we made the decision to see where nature took us!

Related Post: Raising Our Daughter

About a year and a half into trying, we were beginning to wonder if we were ever going to be blessed with a baby.  I was working at a stressful job and was underweight, but otherwise we were both healthy.

We visited our family doctor to undergo some testing to see what the deal was.  I had the standard blood tests and internal exams and my husband had to deposit his seed(s) in a cup, but everything came back fine.  We made an appointment with a fertility specialist, which was a few months away, and we just kept going through the motions as usual.

Low and behold a couple of weeks before we were to see the fertility specialist, we got the positive!

My pregnancy and delivery was rather uneventful and we welcomed a healthy, beautiful baby girl into the world!

I was 33 when our daughter was born.  Not old by any means, but a lot older than I had thought I would be having kids.  Previously, I wanted to have all of our children before the age of thirty, and here I was have our first three years after I had planned being done!

We were in no rush to discuss having any more children, especially with how long it took to conceive our daughter!  I didn’t want to go through that stress again – nearly two and a half years to get pregnant!  But, at the same time – DID WE ONLY WANT ONE CHILD??

Looking at the time in our lives, our careers and how we wanted to live …

… We decided that one would be enough.

Our family and friends certainly had their opinions:  How can you only have one?  Give her a playmate!  She’ll be lonely once you’re gone.  She’ll be a spoiled brat! A lot of people have their own thoughts of us being an only child family.

My husband is an only child and he turned out just fine. I have two siblings and I turned out just fine. There is no set determination that an only child will turn out any differently than a child with siblings.

We do certainly do give our daughter more than she needs and more often than not, she does get what she wants. But we’re raising a happy healthy girl the way we feel best. We don’t feel we overindulge her and she is far from a spoiled brat (for the most part)!!

Looking back, if I were younger when our daughter was born, I kinda think we would have considered having another. But I have grown to love our family of three and wouldn’t change a thing.

Our girl is now six and we’re paving our own path and beginning to travel together. Our family dynamic is far from what I`d imagined or even dreamed of growing up, but this is our life and wouldn’t want it any other way.

 

We are an only child family. How big is your family?  Would you do anything differently if you could?