As a new parent, staring lovingly into the eyes of your newborn baby, it seems like the moment will never end. Then you blink and suddenly that tiny bundle is a toddler, doodling all over your brand new 75″ television with a permanent marker! I know what you’re thinking – will parenting ever get easier? Let’s get into it.

** Disclosure. I am not a professional or a parenting expert. This post is solely for entertainment purposes. **

Let’s face it, parenting is needed at all phases of a child’s life.  From the moment they’re born to the day your child leaves home for college.  And even though one’s approach to parenting may differ from another’s, the overall properties remain consistent.  Like not allowing your child to severely injure themselves, but acknowledging the lesson in letting them find out minor dangers on their own.

Parenting is a full time job that lasts a lifetime – both your life and the child’s.  While parenting may never get easier, over time it may get less draining.

Please stay a baby forever!

The joy and love you feel when your child first comes into the world is an affection beyond compare.  Then the reality sets in that you are now solely responsible for caring for this tiny human – forever!  Set aside the fact that mama is healing from a traumatic experience – hello, child birth – and first time parents have no effing clue what they’re doing.  **Insert minor freak out here**  One has to just jump right in and figure it out as you go!

To be honest, the infancy phase is not terribly challenging, once you get into a routine.  Sure there is a pretty big learning curve and each day can hold it’s own set of demands, but parents get the hang of caring for a newborn fairly quickly.  Just get used to no sleep, not showering, a messy house, and a total upheaval of your entire life!

Once you have your day-to-day groove down pat, life will throw you a curveball and your child will start to grow and develop.  One day you can leave them safely on the sofa while you run to pee and the next they’re rolling off the furniture.  Babies get mobile in an awful hurry!  Before you know it, they’re up on all fours, pulling themselves up at the table, and actually moving!

Terrible toddlers & temper tantrums!

Going out and about with a baby is so simple – they stay in their car seat and sleep the whole time.  But with an active toddler, even the seemingly straightforward task of grocery shopping can be absolute hell!  Children aged eighteen months to three years are so incredibly active and unpredictable.  One second they’re running down the toy aisle of Walmart and the next they’re passed out in the shopping cart.

Prepare for erratic behavior, frequent meltdowns, and an inconsistent routine when it comes to toddlers.  They don’t want to nap as often, so you have to keep them busy.  Now, don’t try to be a hero here!  Feel free to stick that kid in front of the television if you need to.  Put your moralistic feelings aside until they’re older – and until you’ve developed more patience!

One small joy (if you can call it that) to this age is that they are really starting to talk.  Hearing your child say “mama” or “dada” for the first time will make your heart melt.  Give it a few years!  Your sweet girl or boy will be dropping F-bombs on the reg!  In short, toddlers are a mixed blessing.  Heart-warming and entertaining, but also infuriating and soul-sucking –basically small versions of yourself!

They’re someone else’s problem now!

The bliss a parent feels when their little one starts school is both joyous and heart wrenching.  Your wee prince or princess is now self sufficient enough to not need mommy and daddy around 24/7.    Also, this is one of the first tests, as a parent, of how you did raising them up until this point.  You will often ask yourself, “are they being respectful to the teacher?”, “did they put on clean underwear this morning?”, and crossing their fingers that they don’t crap their drawers!  Take it from a super paranoid and insecure mother – even though you’ll worry and fret over their well-being, they will make out just fine on their own. 

School age, however, is often the period where a child’s attitude starts to show its ugly head!  Questionable friendships, bullies (especially girls), and the onset of hormones all start to play a part in a child’s behavior and overall mindset. A normally complacent and well-behaved child may begin arguing and acting out.  A child’s mental health also comes into play a lot more prominently when they start attending school.  Being around other children and outside influences can inadvertently affect a child’s emotions and general mentality.

While the pride and accomplishment of raising a child will constantly grow and change, the juvenile stage may be the most arduous phase to date.  The nonstop unpredictability and external factors will prove to be the biggest test of your parenting career thus far.  Buckle up!  You’re in for a roller coaster ride!

This is as far as my personal experience can take me!

Our nine year-old daughter, though a sweetheart in her own way, keeps both my husband and I on our toes day in and day out!  She is growing (and behaving) well beyond her small years and, frankly, it scares the shit out of me thinking about what she will be like in a few years.  Honestly, I feel we already have a teenager in the house!  The emotions are getting heavier and deeper, we are choosing our battles a lot wiser, and learning to often just keep our mouth shut.

For now, we’ll just cross that bridge when we get to it.  At some point or another, parents just have to trust that they raised a good kid.  A kid who is capable of making good decisions, can be kind and thoughtful, and that they will be an asset to society when they’re older.  A little faith.

So, will parenting ever get easier?

Fuck no!  However, you will learn and adjust to each and every stressful stage of your child’s life and just roll with it. 

You got this!